It wasn’t until about a month ago that I became aware of the fact that last week we entered not only a new year but a new decade as well. When the 1980s ended and the 1990s began, I recall being very conscious of the transition, but I suppose having two zeros in the midst of the year derailed me. I wasn’t derailed for long: the stories on the Internet and the television were endless. At first I didn’t take them seriously. PR people “seed” year-end stories to journalists, who, in my opinion, write and report them as a way to look back on the period of time being commemorated in order to showcase how significant the stories they worked on – as opposed to those worked on by other journalists – really were. They’re essentially resumes dressed up as reportage. In the world of PR, the year-end stories are an easy, cheap home run, and I receive them accordingly.
But then the analysis began. The commentary was exhaustive, and most of it seems to tell us that not only was 2009 a bad year, but the entire decade it brought to an end was pretty grim as well. These two conclusions are based, of course, on “polls of the American people.” Which makes me wonder, naturally, I think, not only who was asked to assign an impossibly simplified value to 3,652 days and nights, but the questions that were used to prompt them as well. I wonder what sort of people participate in these polls, and how lifeless they must be in order to cram a full 40 seasons into a checked box on a form. I wonder what role the marketing people played in these polls, or the bankers, or the land developers or the control freaks who chant that if you cannot measure it, you cannot manage it. I wonder what sorts of atrocities are on the horizon, ones designed to remedy the dissatisfaction we’re all apparently feeling over the 10 years we’ve just endured. I wonder if the people – and there were a lot of them, evidently – who think of the last 10 years as “the post-9-11 decade” have ever bothered themselves to read about people in other parts of the world. I wonder how it is possible that in such an advanced era, the news people and their extended family of commentators still refer to “America” this and “America” that when any map – online or otherwise – will clearly show that what they mean to say is the United States. I wonder how much this sort of polling costs.
I wonder if I am the only one who, over the past decade, went to some funerals and went to some weddings and went to some baby showers and birthday parties for children so young they still think the wrapping paper is the best part of the present, who lost some old friends and made some new ones, who watched his 401k lose money but also saved some cash on oranges, who had some really shitty days, and some really good ones.
Was the past decade good? Or was it bad? And should we call this new year “two thousand ten” or should we call it “twenty ten”? Katie Couric is all over the “look forward” angle with her schlocky series about where we – America, that is – stand. Are we prepared for the new decade? she asks. Is America ready for its teen years? I apologize for being a killjoy, but given the fact that our national attention span seems to extend no more than five minutes into the past or the future, I feel obligated to say that asking if a country well beyond its 230th anniversary is ready for its teen years takes stupid to a brand new level. There were other decades when things both good and bad happened. There were other centuries that generated a headline or two. I know that’s difficult for the Twitter crowd to grasp, but it’s true.
So if I’m asked by a pollster to say whether I think the past decade was good or bad, I’ll refuse. But if I’m asked the all-consuming question about what we’re calling our new decade, I will answer by telling the pollster that I call it now.
But then the analysis began. The commentary was exhaustive, and most of it seems to tell us that not only was 2009 a bad year, but the entire decade it brought to an end was pretty grim as well. These two conclusions are based, of course, on “polls of the American people.” Which makes me wonder, naturally, I think, not only who was asked to assign an impossibly simplified value to 3,652 days and nights, but the questions that were used to prompt them as well. I wonder what sort of people participate in these polls, and how lifeless they must be in order to cram a full 40 seasons into a checked box on a form. I wonder what role the marketing people played in these polls, or the bankers, or the land developers or the control freaks who chant that if you cannot measure it, you cannot manage it. I wonder what sorts of atrocities are on the horizon, ones designed to remedy the dissatisfaction we’re all apparently feeling over the 10 years we’ve just endured. I wonder if the people – and there were a lot of them, evidently – who think of the last 10 years as “the post-9-11 decade” have ever bothered themselves to read about people in other parts of the world. I wonder how it is possible that in such an advanced era, the news people and their extended family of commentators still refer to “America” this and “America” that when any map – online or otherwise – will clearly show that what they mean to say is the United States. I wonder how much this sort of polling costs.
I wonder if I am the only one who, over the past decade, went to some funerals and went to some weddings and went to some baby showers and birthday parties for children so young they still think the wrapping paper is the best part of the present, who lost some old friends and made some new ones, who watched his 401k lose money but also saved some cash on oranges, who had some really shitty days, and some really good ones.
Was the past decade good? Or was it bad? And should we call this new year “two thousand ten” or should we call it “twenty ten”? Katie Couric is all over the “look forward” angle with her schlocky series about where we – America, that is – stand. Are we prepared for the new decade? she asks. Is America ready for its teen years? I apologize for being a killjoy, but given the fact that our national attention span seems to extend no more than five minutes into the past or the future, I feel obligated to say that asking if a country well beyond its 230th anniversary is ready for its teen years takes stupid to a brand new level. There were other decades when things both good and bad happened. There were other centuries that generated a headline or two. I know that’s difficult for the Twitter crowd to grasp, but it’s true.
So if I’m asked by a pollster to say whether I think the past decade was good or bad, I’ll refuse. But if I’m asked the all-consuming question about what we’re calling our new decade, I will answer by telling the pollster that I call it now.
