Offensive and reprehensible

Yesterday I had the very rare experience of not believing my own ears. I had to listen to the news on the radio not once, or twice but three times before I stopped doubting the state of my hearing: Helen Thomas, who has been in the news biz since 1960 and is about to turn 90, who has a unique ability (I believe) to make the White House uncomfortable because she asks questions, who writes an opinion column, Helen Thomas yesterday was forced to resign because she said she thought Israel should get the hell out of Palestine. The pro-Israel camp in this country, of course, went ballistic. How dare she? What a racist. The same camp fueled the flames by asking, what if she had said all black people in America should be forced to return to Africa? Well, what if she had? Maybe they should call Oprah and ask her. In addition to being a really clumsy comparison, I think it’s interesting that the same people who go into attack and belittle mode every time a group uses the word “holocaust” to describe its experience did not waste a second when it came time to latch on to another cultural narrative. The press fraternity at the White House expressed its condemnation of her and was planning to meet and take a vote on whether she should be allowed to retain her seat in the front row in the briefing room. That sounds like an episode of Survivor to me. Barack Obama said “kick ass” on television, speaking, of course, about his tough stance toward BP, although I think what he was really doing when he uttered those words was stroking himself a bit over the fact that he’d managed to run Helen Thomas out of town. In fact, I’d imagine the entire pack of frat boys at the White House are breathing a sigh of relief over Helen Thomas’ departure. Robert Gibbs, one of the president’s goofiest appointments, I think, called her comments “offensive and reprehensible.” I am learning, slowly, that if you listen to people criticize others long enough, they will eventually tell you all about themselves. I include myself in this theory, and now I include the president’s press secretary as well.

Anyhow, I am not going to get into the nuts and bolts of what I think of Israel because that’s clearly not allowed. As one of the guests on On The Media said last night, criticizing Israel is an issue of national security. So shifting away from politics, since that’s a forbidden topic, I was wondering last night what it would be like to meet Helen Thomas and have the chance to ask her just one question. Here’s how it would go: Hello Ms. Thomas, it’s an honor to meet you. I have on two-part question for you. If you were invited to host Saturday Night Live, would you accept? And the second part of the question, if it were one of those Facebook campaigns, how many people would have to sign on?