I’m not exactly proud of what I’m about to say. But, considering that I’m about to say it, I suppose I’m not exactly ashamed either. I think the oil spill is one of the most entertaining events to come along in quite a while.
More than a month into the whole debacle, people are now spewing forth their “outrage” and “anger” toward the guy at BP, who, for reasons I will never understand, still goes before the cameras. He’s a criminal, I’ve heard. He’s a liar. He owes the people of Louisiana and the entire Gulf Coast region. I think he deserves an award, personally. He clearly understands the fine art of manipulating people into rearranging their priorities to the point where preserving the environment takes a back seat to our lust for “free enterprise” with minimal interference from Big Government. Good for him, I think.
The Big Government thing is one of my favorite parts of the story. That weirdo governor of Louisiana was the Republican Party’s great, acceptably brown hope for a while, spewing forth his nonsense about keeping Big Government’s hands off Louisiana. Louisiana, he said, is a place for entrepreneurship, a place where people can hope and dream and work hard. Big Government and its lust for bureaucracy shouldn’t get in the way. Now, where’s the military to clean up the mess? Where are the checks written by Big Government? Where’s the president? He should move his entire operation to the town of Venice, according to one fisherman, and provide people there with daily updates. How dare he make a trip to California to campaign for Barbara Boxer? And how dare he have a party at the White House for Paul McCartney? Big Government spends too much money, but regardless of cost, Big Government should drop everything and focus solely on the situation in the gulf, where an entire way of life is at great peril. Please, shut up.
Equally entertaining are the right wing radio talkies, who are outdoing themselves on this one. The real problem here is that Obama is just using the spill as an excuse to blame the Bush administration yet again. Even though I think it’s pretty obvious that one of the main causes of the disaster is that the regulations were interpreted as suggestions rather than rules, it’s not presidential for him to say so. The main reason it’s not presidential is that the White House should not be used to divide people for political purposes. Republican presidents, according to a guy from some conservative think tank, never did that. That was what he said. I couldn’t believe my ears, either.
Even better, we now have a professional sports angle on the whole thing. The pitcher whose perfect game was ruined by an umpire’s bad call … now there’s our man. He was so gracious in his post-game interview, steering clear of the impulse to blame, which is what the president would have done had his perfect game been stolen. The president should take a cue from this guy. He should man up.
At the same time, he should be more emotional. In what I think is one of the most horrific snapshots of the country’s psyche, the talkies have been railing on Obama all week because he hasn’t started crying during press conferences or during his walk along a beach, where he got a good look at what the region stands to lose. He’s acting like a professor, sang the chorus. What an elitist! Although, when I stop and think about it, I do wish he’d usher forth a tear or two. That way, the networks could play it over and over and over again, and then maybe we’d see a little less of the Web cam footage, which I’m afraid is going to give me nightmares or, worse yet, jeopardize my beloved regularity.
