One of the best aspects of my television addiction is the commercials. I know they’re annoying to a lot of people, a rude interruption to be endured and tolerated. But they offer an interesting window into what’s on the minds, and the shopping lists, of people who are ready to spend some money. There is a lot that goes into a 15-second commercial that’s aired during prime time. Focus groups, messaging development, revisions, testing on test audiences, on and on, and lots and lots of cash. This shit’s serious.
One of the commercials that’s caught my eye recently is for a company called Clear. I’ve seen Clear’s logo around town and watched the commercials, but I wasn’t really sure what the company does, so I looked it up: “CLEAR is a high speed mobile Internet service provider for your home or business. CLEAR is the best alternative to DSL or Cable. Get CLEAR Today.” That’s actually not a bad description, compared to some of the crap I’ve seen. Compared, in the spirit of full disclosure, to some of the crap I’ve written.
The commercial though, which was obviously scripted to adhere tightly to a few key messages, is disturbing to me. The theme of it seems to be that none of us really want to be where we are. We’d rather be somewhere else. A woman is walking her dog in the park, so she tells someone, via her computer screen, in a very drone-y voice, “I’m walking the dog.” Then she’s riding in a car – in the passenger seat, thankfully – and “keeping an eye” on her child’s classroom. Then, finally, we see her fingernails being done at the salon while she watches, via her computer, a television show.
If it weren’t for technology I wouldn’t have the job I have, and if I didn’t have the job I have I wouldn’t have the life I have. I work out of my home office with clients around the world. I don’t commute, or spend days and weeks doing team-building activities, or spend months incapacitated due to “the review cycle.” And if it weren’t for technology, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog, which I do truly enjoy.
That said, this commercial, this brief snippet, says for me better than I could ever say for myself what annoys and terrifies me about this age. Why, I cannot help but wonder, why on earth would you take your computer to a dog park? So that you can log on and announce to someone – and everyone else unfortunate enough to be within ear shot, including the dogs – that you’re walking the dog? Shut up. Who cares? Well, that’s the scary part. The millions of dollars that go into marketing technology is all the proof I need to say with certainty that lots of people care. It’s important to have the ability to babble useless information, unfortunately. It’s like people on the bus who bellow the bus’ location into their cell phones every five minutes. Now the person on the other end of the cell phone knows that the Number Twenty is approaching the Burnside Bridge. To someone, to lots of people, for reasons I do not understand, that information is critical.
Even more unfortunate, I think, is that it’s important to lots people to be able to watch a television program while having a manicure. I’ve never had a manicure myself, but from what I hear the beauty salon is a gold mine. I avoid making promises because I think they’re a bad idea generally, but here’s one: if I ever go in for a manicure, the only communication tool I’ll take with me is my sense of hearing and, perhaps, a notebook – the old-fashioned kind, made of paper.
One of the commercials that’s caught my eye recently is for a company called Clear. I’ve seen Clear’s logo around town and watched the commercials, but I wasn’t really sure what the company does, so I looked it up: “CLEAR is a high speed mobile Internet service provider for your home or business. CLEAR is the best alternative to DSL or Cable. Get CLEAR Today.” That’s actually not a bad description, compared to some of the crap I’ve seen. Compared, in the spirit of full disclosure, to some of the crap I’ve written.
The commercial though, which was obviously scripted to adhere tightly to a few key messages, is disturbing to me. The theme of it seems to be that none of us really want to be where we are. We’d rather be somewhere else. A woman is walking her dog in the park, so she tells someone, via her computer screen, in a very drone-y voice, “I’m walking the dog.” Then she’s riding in a car – in the passenger seat, thankfully – and “keeping an eye” on her child’s classroom. Then, finally, we see her fingernails being done at the salon while she watches, via her computer, a television show.
If it weren’t for technology I wouldn’t have the job I have, and if I didn’t have the job I have I wouldn’t have the life I have. I work out of my home office with clients around the world. I don’t commute, or spend days and weeks doing team-building activities, or spend months incapacitated due to “the review cycle.” And if it weren’t for technology, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog, which I do truly enjoy.
That said, this commercial, this brief snippet, says for me better than I could ever say for myself what annoys and terrifies me about this age. Why, I cannot help but wonder, why on earth would you take your computer to a dog park? So that you can log on and announce to someone – and everyone else unfortunate enough to be within ear shot, including the dogs – that you’re walking the dog? Shut up. Who cares? Well, that’s the scary part. The millions of dollars that go into marketing technology is all the proof I need to say with certainty that lots of people care. It’s important to have the ability to babble useless information, unfortunately. It’s like people on the bus who bellow the bus’ location into their cell phones every five minutes. Now the person on the other end of the cell phone knows that the Number Twenty is approaching the Burnside Bridge. To someone, to lots of people, for reasons I do not understand, that information is critical.
Even more unfortunate, I think, is that it’s important to lots people to be able to watch a television program while having a manicure. I’ve never had a manicure myself, but from what I hear the beauty salon is a gold mine. I avoid making promises because I think they’re a bad idea generally, but here’s one: if I ever go in for a manicure, the only communication tool I’ll take with me is my sense of hearing and, perhaps, a notebook – the old-fashioned kind, made of paper.
