Blown way out of proportion

Not long ago a little girl from Oregon City persuaded her mother to take her to Portland, where she set up a lemonade stand in a recently whitened neighborhood (Alberta) as part of a regularly scheduled event that purports to be an alternative to the Pearl District’s First Thursday. For those of you who read this blog and know nothing of Portland, First Thursday is an event that allows the rich and famous the opportunity to feel really urban and edgy once a month. It lets them dip their beautifully maintained toes into the wild waters of Art. Anyhow, it wasn’t long after the little girl set her stand up that someone from Multnomah County came along and informed her mother that she needed a permit. So the people in the booth next to the lemonade stand, who were self-proclaimed anarchists, advised the mother to give the lemonade away free of charge, but suggest a donation. The story, of course, was on all the local news channels, because we love nothing more than sappy, child-centric dramas. Then it hit the Internet, and then the national news and, I believe, the international news as well. Everyone got involved, everyone had an opinion and something to offer the poor little girl. This was a story, after all, that was custom made for the camp that likes to draw attention to itself by “giving back.” It was simple enough for everyone to understand, it was about the children, our very future. It didn’t take long for a Facebook page to get up and running.

And then something happened that totally impressed me. The mother went on Think Out Loud, a pretty good radio show on the local NPR affiliate. So too did the Multnomah County commissioner, who I thought did a pretty good job at straddling the line between saying the incident was unfortunate but, on the other hand, imagine the hell that would have erupted had someone gotten ill from the lemonade. Then a couple of other children came on to share their stories about lemonade stand – one of them even donated the profits to charity. So cute! The host asked the mother what she thought her daughter had learned from the experience. The mother, much to my surprise, said she was still thinking about it, but that one of the lessons she thought had been imparted is that the sky is the limit when it comes to ambitions, but still, there are rules and it’s important to follow them. I know a lot of people call it stammering, but I think it’s refreshing when it’s obvious that someone is thinking about her answer before spewing it forth.

Then, and this was bound to happen, an attention-seeker disguised as a giving, caring citizen called in. He was affiliated somehow with the anniversary party that was held on the Hawthorne Bridge over the weekend, a fundraiser, of course (everything in Portland is a fundraiser, sooner or later) and he was just overjoyed to be calling in to say that they’d love to save a spot for the little girl at the bridge party so that she could “make up for lost time.” This guy’s voice made me cringe. He spoke in that grandiose, let’s-save-the-day … together sort of way. I’m cynical and jaded, I realize, but my God, it is so fake, and it’s so scripted, and it seems to be everywhere I listen. I also think these stories are distracting. When we’re preoccupied with the maudlin, what are we ignoring? That’s my question.

Much to my surprise, there were no choked up voices eschewing gratitude and wonder at the beauty and kindness that surface even in these trying times. Instead, the mother said thank you, but no. Her daughter, she explained, was uncomfortable with all the attention. They were going to participate in a lemonade stand publicity stunt at a tire shop the following day, and then that would be the end of it. In a tone that was admirably neutral, the host of the program asked the mother, Why? Because, the mother said, this thing has already been blown way out of proportion.